As you might know, some solar guru friends are coming to my farm on Saturday and Sunday, June 28 and 29, to teach me how to make solar hot water heaters that will be hooked on the south side of my house. I took it upon myself to invite you to attend.
From solar guru emails that have been exchanged and that I have intercepted, I gather that said gurus are still working out the details of how to actually construct and attach these solar hot water heaters to my house. Although you have read about the Yogis who actually came to blows while arguing about the best way to lie down on a bed of nails, my solar guru friends will hopefully be able to settle their differences peacefully.
One gathers from their solar emails that solar hot water heaters are like computers and automobiles in that their design changes from year to year. And like computers and automobiles, there seems to be a range of philosophies as to which one best does the job.
I’ve never seen a solar hot water heater so, I’m open to all possibilities. Although, I must admit, I’d probably be partial to a unit that could be constructed without Audio Visual aids or endless extraneous philosophic discussion.
You will recall that my wife Marsha, The Almost Perfect Woman, forced me to discontinue my very popular Lobster Picnic in 1994. Having over 1,000 people converge on my farm for a day was a delightful experience for me. She couldn’t stand it. Even 20 friends at a solar workshop coming in for dinner overwhelms her. She can’t just let me open some beans or cook spaghetti for the masses because I wouldn’t do it right. For me it would be fun. Things like that just happen by themselves and everyone has a good time. There is always enough for everybody. No one ever goes without. There is always someone in the crowd who loves to take charge and do things. I can name names because over the years I’ve seen them come here, pitch in and help.
Marsha said that she wasn’t going to feed the masses for this next workshop on Saturday-Sunday June 28-29. Perhaps one of her reasons for saying this is because the last workshop was free, although we requested donations to pay for guru gas and Marsha food. And I can’t say that the donations received covered the cost of gas for the gurus or the cost of the food and snacks and drinks that Marsha bought and prepared. I don’t mind borrowing more money to help you learn how to build a solar collector. This is ok with me. But not with the gurus or my wife.
After discussion, guru Soni says, “Say there is a $50.00 per day course fee, but scholarships are available. This will include lunch. We are used to handling lunch anyways, but I don’t know about how Marsha feels about somebody else in her kitchen. We could always just do bag lunches. If they are interested in a scholarship, they should call me at night 773-1095. How does that sound? - Soni
PS: The original plan WAS just to teach you.”
Yes, they were coming just to teach me and to help me. And I messed things up by inviting you to sit in on it. So, that’s the way it looks now. Soni, the guru, has spoken. Everyone and anyone can come. There is a $50.00 per day course fee, but scholarships are available.
The way I read this, if you’ve got it, you pay. If you ain’t got it, you call Soni and you get a scholarship. Of course, people who didn’t get this email will certainly drop in to see what is going on. Think of them as being poor and therefore on a scholarship. If I had my way, all education would be free in this country even after 3 PhDs and 12 years of post doc.
I’m used to making radio and TV programs for you without getting paid. I think of it as a public service. I did radio for you for 28 years without getting paid, and now I’m making television programs for you without getting paid and for years my wife has called me a sucker. She’s always amazed when one of my friends expresses gratitude.
But even though these solar gurus want to help you and teach you for free, they are not independently wealthy and do need help with gas money to get here and back. They even need to live for the two days that they are donating to our cause.
Again, scholarship number 773-1095. Call Soni if you want to come but can’t raise the $50 per day fee. I plan to call so I can get in free, but then, I’m giving the gurus a place to sleep. If I wasn’t I’d give them the hundred bucks because what they are going to show me is certainly worth it. When they do these workshops around the state, it is my understanding that you pay quite a bit more than that to attend. Keep me posted. Come if you think you could learn something valuable. Bring something to eat if you can. If you can’t I will provide hot water for those who find it necessary to boil and eat their belts and shoes.
Thank goodness it is raining. I’ve been watering my garden twice a day and the rhubarb, my only cash crop, is wilting.
Thank you for listening.
Neighbor humble
PS. This week I went to my banker friend and told him I was going to run my equity mortgage credit line to the limit so I could put in solar electricity and solar hot water. And he said —please get this — my banker friend told me — that people were coming into his bank to borrow money so they could buy OIL!
I asked him why they didn’t borrow the same money to put in solar and he said their thinking hasn’t caught up with the reality of the times.
Perhaps getting my big home solar energy project out on my cable television program will encourage poor people to bite the bullet and borrow money to go solar. Because installing solar collectors strikes a blow against every chamber of commerce in Maine, every Rotary Club in Maine, and the republican party in general, I wouldn’t be surprised if just talking about solar on television will get me, and even the culpable cable stations, shut down even quicker than did my defining fascism on public radio. Big money is unforgiving.
hum
You are invited to stop by for supper anytime.
Robert Karl Skoglund
785 River Road
St. George, ME 04860
207-226-7442
humble [at] humblefarmer [dot] com
Hear humble’s show on Public Radio http://www.wdna.org/
See and hear humble tell stories on his web page: http://www.thehumblefarmer.com/
Enjoy humble’s music/humor program on Maine cable television stations: http://www.thehumblefarmer.com/TvTowns.html
Did you know that Robert Skoglund, The humble Farmer, stands on stages and tells funny stories?
Ask humble to entertain you and your friends with dry stories like these: http://www.thehumblefarmer.com/PortlandA.html
You can visit humble and Marsha at their Bed & Breakfast on the coast of Maine. http://www.thehumblefarmer.com/BaB.html
